carrot cake genji
Here’s your stern and serious reminder that no matter what tumblr tries to tell you, if you are under the age of eighteen, you absolutely cannot take nudes of yourself. You can’t even take them and keep them on your phone. It counts as child porn. You could be arrested. Anyone you send them to could be arrested. Your parents could be arrested if they’re the ones paying for the phone. I don’t care how many people try to make it seem like body positivity.
It has nothing to do with body positivity.
It’s a felony.
Don’t do it.
List of celebrities who aren’t human:
- Sufjan Stevens (sad alien who loves god)
- Tilda Swinton (forest spirit born from an icy pond one quiet night when the blood moon hung in the sky. several other inhumans were present during the birthing. who are they)
- Saoirse Ronan (friendly fairy who accidentally discovered she was good at acting like a human and is too polite to stop accepting awards)
- David Bowie (standard 1960s depiction of a martian maintaining the illusion of being a human through pure funky charisma. was present at Tilda Swinton’s birth)
- Despite rumors to the contrary Benedict Cumberbatch is human but his colleague, Martin Freeman, is actually several gnomes in a trench coat
- Christopher Walken. No idea what the hell he is
so idk how accurate the ‘Polite Canadian’ stereotype is but as a girl who’s lived in the south for her entire life I can attest to the fact that we’re taught that manners are fucking everything like my brain literally short-circuits when an adult tells me I don’t have to call them “ma’am” or “sir” and if I cross paths with a stranger and forget to wave I will be consumed with guilt for the next two days because that was just fucking rude and I may have social anxiety but I am the fucking queen of small talk and I guess what I’m trying to get at here is that Jack and Bitty are going to raise the most polite goddamn kids in the history of the world
No but Shitty and Lardo have a baby and Shitty’s feeling burnt out from his corporate job (that he only took because he refused to take any money from his dad and has tons of student loan debt as a result but he was able to pay them off sooner that expected and now that he’s built his savings back up he has no reason to stay) so they decide that he’ll stay home with the baby as Lardo works on her doctorate and he figures out what he wants to do next.
Just.
Shitty rocking the fuck out of a Moby wrap and aviators with little Sammy Duan-Knight snuggled against his bare chest. Shitty insisting that his kid is going to call him ‘Shitty’. Shitty growing his hair out again because those corporate asswipes did not appreciate the epicness of his flow. Shitty ripping anti-vaxxers a new one because they have terrible priorities. Shitty instilling the fear of God into one of the women at their Gymboree class when she sees him mix formula for his baby and makes some snide comment about it. Shitty Knight does not have time for you Mommy Wars bullshit, Deirdre. No one has time for your bullshit.
me: FIC WHERE KENT PARSON TRIES TO COME OUT AND IT JUST DOESN’T TAKE
me: like 4 times in a row he says things that are supposed to be big announcements and everyone misinterprets them
Lee: one of them is him going to pride and everyone congratulating him for being an ally
me: he tweets a napkin drawing of a dick going into an ass. “DO YOU GET IT NOW?” he wails. no one can tell what it is.
Lee: he publicly asks out a gay celeb and then livetweets the date. or, as everyone puts it, dinner with his new bro.
me: Buzzfeed does a listicle. “10 Times Kent Parson Proved How Comfortable He Is In His Heterosexuality.”